Sorry , that i broke your heart

Yes I am one of those girls. The ones who run around making you feel so special and then turn around and tell you " we are just friends". It happens lots , my brain hasn't come to the conclusion that heartbreaking isn't fun. Well, I actually am not that bad I just like to play games but when I do find someone I really like I don't play. When I do break someone's heart I don't really feel bad , I just well laugh. Maybe I do get this sense from my ex he played me and all his other girlfriends. I became cold hearted , well half cold and half warm. So the point of this was to say stay away or don't that's your choice

It might be time to grow up

I have been through a lot recently and I am really not sure if I can stay the way I am. My life has taken a complete 180 but in that time I have realised that.. I need to grow up. Maybe not too fast but slowly , my parents are expecting me to get the highest grades and not date boys. At the end of the day I am a teen , I will rebel and obviously date boys. My grades aren't horrific maybe if I pushed myself I could please my parent. But you see I don't want to please my parents I want to be free , I want to date boys and make mistakes because that's how I'll learn not to fuck up. They don't see that. Currently it doesn't matter what they think because we aren't talking and I am hoping it will stay that way. As every time we speak its platonic. I guess you can't always have the best relationship with your parents and even if you could arguments happen however hard you try but in my case the last argument was too big and too real it won't ever be the same. Take this example breaking someone's trust is like crumpling up a piece of paper ; however much you try to smooth it , it will never be the same. That's how I feel our relationship will never be the same. It's frustrating because I have tried too hard to make it like a normal parent relationship.

You can't always get what you want

I have never been good with telling people how i feel but when i do i feel like a big weight lifted off my chest.I know this post is random but i feel like I'm not the only one who struggles with not letting people in, well maybe it might stem from me being hurt all the time. I don't ever talk to people but when i do they seem taken back by my sudden burst of emotions and its a horrible feeling when people don't believe you. I can easily confide into strangers but that is not something i do often. My whole life has been private but i think that's how i like it but then when i do tell me people/ parents all i get is either crappy advice or an argument. I don't want a stupid debate i wanted actual advice but i guess people don't understand me at all but i don't fuss about it maybe its because i have been put down or never really taken seriously by people.... not really sure what this post was about but yeah !!